It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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