One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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