why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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