He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize