Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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