Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
