so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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