Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
