I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
