Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
