yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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