Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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