I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
