U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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