Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We're too hungover to prance.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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