Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
