If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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