i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
