the condom got lost in my hair
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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