just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
