I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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