His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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