Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
