Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize