that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
