he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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