id be glad to
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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