i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
