I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
