Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize