Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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