i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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