How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just pynch a tree in the face
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
