Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He felt like a one man threesome
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
