just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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