this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
