somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
