just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
