i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
