Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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