Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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