I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
