I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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