Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
