Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
