I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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