Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
