So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
