Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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