I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
