he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
