I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
