Christians are straight up FREAKS
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
