Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Randomize
