I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
