There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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