I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I can't turn off my feet"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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