im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
